so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I smell stomach acid.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
