My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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