everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
