so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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