all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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