Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
