He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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