I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
