Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
