Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
