Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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