I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
