Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We have started to decorate penises.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
