i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
