your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
