he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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