just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
