Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize