I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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