K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
