Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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