You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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