I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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