oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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