yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
