piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
