the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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