I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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