I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize