i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
