I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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