the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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