My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
