I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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