so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
