Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize