New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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