I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
