Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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