using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
