I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
