Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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