i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
