It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
