He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize