Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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