I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize