Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she pinky promised me she was 18
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
