is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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