I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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