I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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