Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
