It's like God shit irony all over that family
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
