You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize