I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
