Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
