I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
40s are totally the cure
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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