the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
