I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
