I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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