yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
